24 Anal Sex Positions, From Easy First Tries to Advanced Moves

Anal sex has a reputation problem. It’s either hyped as the ultimate thrill or whispered about as a recipe for pain. The truth sits in the middle, and it comes down mostly to three things: preparation, pace and position.

Position matters more than most people expect. The right one lets the receiving partner control depth and speed, keeps the muscles relaxed, and makes it easy to stop or adjust. The wrong one can turn a good idea into a short, unpleasant evening.

This guide gives you 24 anal sex positions in three stages, from gentle first tries to more athletic options. Before the positions, you’ll get the preparation and safety basics, because those decide how good the positions feel. This is for adults, any gender and any orientation, in consensual relationships.

A quick vocabulary note: giver means the person penetrating (with a penis, strap-on, finger or toy), and receiver means the person being penetrated. Anyone can be either.

Talk First: Consent and Communication

The most useful thing you can do is have the conversation before anyone is undressed.

Cover three things:

• Why are you interested? Curiosity, intimacy, a particular fantasy? Honest answers help.
• Limits and worries. Pain, cleanliness, past bad experiences. Name them. They shrink once said aloud.
• A stop signal. Agree on a word or a tap that means “pause now, no questions.”

Consent isn’t a one-time yes. It continues throughout, and either person can change their mind mid-way. A good rule is that the receiver sets the pace for everything.

[Read: romantic questions to ask someone]

A simple traffic-light system helps: green means keep going, yellow means slow down or adjust, red means stop. It sounds clinical, but it takes the guesswork out and lets people relax.

How to Prepare for Anal Sex

Think of this as setting the stage. Most of what makes anal sex comfortable happens before penetration.

Lube Is Non-Negotiable

Unlike the vagina, the anus doesn’t produce its own lubrication. That’s why lube isn’t optional, and why you should use more than you think you need and reapply often.

[Read: How to Get Wet: 35 Ways to Get Aroused and Lubricated Faster, Alone or With a Partner]

Lube type	Works with condoms?	Works with silicone toys?	Notes
Water-based	Yes	Yes	The safe default. Dries faster, so reapply.
Silicone-based	Yes	No, it can damage them	Lasts longer and stays slick.
Oil-based	No, it can damage latex	Varies	Skip it if you’re using latex condoms.

Unscented, plain formulas are the safest choice. Warming, tingling or flavoured lubes can irritate delicate skin.

Use Condoms

Anal sex carries a higher STI risk than vaginal sex, and condoms significantly lower it. If you’re switching from anal to vaginal sex, or moving between partners, change the condom first. The same goes for toys: clean them or put on a fresh condom. This prevents bacteria from the rectum reaching the vagina or urethra.

[Read: Pulling Out for Birth Control: 35 Facts, Risks and Real Answers]

Regular STI testing is sensible for anyone with new or multiple partners. If HIV risk is a concern, talk to a clinician about PrEP.
[Read: birth control options]

Basic Hygiene Is Usually Enough

A bowel movement beforehand and a shower are plenty for most people. Some people choose to use an enema or douche, but it isn’t required, and overdoing it can irritate the lining. If you do, use plain water and be gentle. A bit of mess is possible, so keep towels or wipes nearby and don’t treat it as a failure.

Warm Up Slowly

Rushing is the main cause of pain. Start with relaxation: a warm bath, deep breathing, massage, kissing. Then build up gradually:

1. Start with external touch around the area, with plenty of lube.
2. Introduce one lubricated finger slowly, letting the receiver control the pace.
3. Only move on to a toy or penetration when the receiver is clearly relaxed and asks for more.

A tense body can’t relax on command, so give it time. If you do need to pause, that’s fine.

[Read: ways to turn on your boyfriend]

Skip the Numbing Creams and Heavy Drinking

Numbing products hide pain, and pain is information. Alcohol can also dull your ability to notice when something is wrong.

Which Position Should You Try? A Quick Guide

If you want…	Try
The most control for the receiver	Slow Rider, Reverse Lap Sit, Squat Rider
Intimacy and eye contact	Face-to-Face Side-Lying, Supported Missionary, Lotus Lap
Shallow, gentle entry	Spooning, Pillow-Prone Slide
Deeper angles	Legs on Shoulders, Knees-to-Chest Fold
Easy hand access for extra stimulation	Spooning, Upright Kneel, Seated Chair Embrace
Low physical effort	Spooning, Pillow-Prone Slide, Supported Missionary

Stage 1: Easy Positions for First Tries

These positions prioritise comfort, control and easy adjustment. They’re ideal for first attempts or for anyone returning after a bad experience.

1. Spooning

Both partners lie on their sides, the giver behind the receiver. It’s relaxed, low-effort and leaves both partners’ hands free. The receiver can angle their hips and pull back or pull away as they like.

Tip: Bring the top knee up slightly. It opens the angle without any strain.

2. Reverse Lap Sit

The giver sits (on a bed, sofa or sturdy chair) and the receiver sits down on their lap, facing away. The receiver decides how far and how fast to lower, which makes it one of the best beginner options for control.

Tip: Start by hovering and let the receiver lower in tiny increments. Pausing is easy and natural here.

3. Pillow-Prone Slide

The receiver lies flat on their stomach, a pillow under the hips, legs together or slightly apart. The giver lies on top or kneels behind. Keeping the legs closer together limits depth, which suits beginners.

Tip: Slow, shallow movement works better than depth in this one. Let the receiver wriggle to adjust.

4. Face-to-Face Side-Lying

Both partners lie on their sides facing each other, the receiver lifting the top leg over the giver’s hip. You get kissing, eye contact and the ability to read each other’s face for green, yellow or red.

Tip: A pillow between or under the knee takes pressure off the hips and keeps things comfortable.

5. Supported Missionary

The receiver lies on their back with a pillow under the hips and knees bent, feet flat or resting on the giver’s thighs. It’s intimate and very adjustable: the receiver can pull knees closer or let them drop to change the angle.

Tip: Keep the knees relaxed. Hugging them tightly to the chest is for later.

6. Slow Rider

The giver lies on their back, and the receiver straddles them facing forward, lowering down slowly. Gravity does the work and the receiver controls everything, including how much to take in and when to stop.

Tip: Rest your hands on the giver’s chest for balance and use small circular hip movements to find a comfortable angle.

7. Reverse Rider

The same as the Slow Rider but the receiver faces away. Some people find the angle more comfortable, and the view is a bonus for the giver. It also frees the receiver to touch themselves.

Tip: Lean slightly forward with hands on the giver’s shins or the bed to ease the angle.

8. Seated Chair Embrace

The giver sits on a sturdy chair and the receiver straddles their lap, facing them. It’s cuddly, upright and good for slow, rhythmic movement. Arms around each other help with balance and connection.

Tip: Choose a chair without arms and make sure it won’t wobble or slide.

Stage 2: Intermediate Positions for More Confidence

Once you’re comfortable with the basics and communicating easily, these positions add variety, different angles and a bit more physical activity.

9. Elbows-Down Doggy

Classic doggy style, but the receiver rests on their forearms with hips raised. Lowering the chest and relaxing the lower back usually makes entry easier than being on hands. The giver kneels behind.

Tip: A pillow under the chest or knees keeps joints happy.

10. Standing Lean

The receiver leans forward against a wall, counter or sturdy furniture, while the giver stands behind. It feels spontaneous and allows both partners to adjust the angle quickly.

Tip: Height differences matter. A step, a stack of books or bent knees from the taller partner can fix the alignment.

11. Bed Edge

The receiver lies on their back at the edge of the bed with legs raised or resting on the giver’s body, while the giver stands or kneels on the floor. The height makes it easy for the giver to control angle and depth.

Tip: Check the bed height first. If it doesn’t line up, a pillow or the giver kneeling can solve it.

12. Legs on Shoulders

The receiver lies on their back with legs resting on the giver’s shoulders. This tilts the pelvis and produces a deeper angle, so slow, shallow movement works best at first.

Tip: The receiver should tell the giver how deep is comfortable. Depth is easy to overshoot in this one.

13. Side Scissors

Both partners lie on their sides, legs interlocked, the giver behind. The overlapping legs let you pull each other in or ease back with minimal effort. It’s slow and affectionate.

Tip: Stay patient. It takes a moment to align, so adjust gradually and laugh about any fumbles.

14. Lotus Lap

Both partners sit upright, the receiver on the giver’s lap facing them, legs wrapped around the waist. Movement is small and rocking, and the closeness is intense. It’s less about thrusting and more about connection.

Tip: Slow breathing together helps. Sync your breath and keep your foreheads close.

15. Couch Arm Lean

The receiver bends over the arm of a sofa or the back of a stable chair, while the giver stands or kneels behind. The furniture supports the receiver’s weight, so they can relax their body fully.

Tip: Place a cushion under the receiver’s hips or stomach for comfort.

16. Frog Prone

The receiver lies on their stomach with knees bent out to the sides, like a relaxed frog. The giver lies or kneels over them. This opens the hips and creates a different angle from the closed-leg prone position.

Tip: Place a pillow under the hips and keep the receiver’s knees relaxed, not forced apart.

Stage 3: Advanced Positions for Experienced Couples

These need more strength, flexibility or equipment. Try them only when you’ve built trust and are comfortable communicating mid-action.

[Read: couple workouts]

17. Knees-to-Chest Fold

The receiver lies on their back and pulls their knees toward their chest (or the giver holds the legs). It’s deep, so go slowly and let the receiver decide how far to fold.

Tip: Use a cushion under the lower back, and stop if it pinches anywhere.

18. Squat Rider

The giver lies back and the receiver squats over them, feet on the bed, controlling movement with their legs. It gives the receiver complete control but takes thigh strength.

Tip: Place hands on the giver’s chest or thighs for stability, and rest when your legs tire.

19. Bridge Lift

The receiver lies on their back with feet planted and hips lifted in a glute bridge, while the giver kneels between their legs. The receiver can lower or raise the hips to alter the angle.

Tip: Keep it brief. It’s a workout for the glutes and may need breaks.

20. Standing Bow

The receiver stands bent forward at the hips with hands on their knees or thighs, while the giver stands behind. The giver may steady them with a hand at the hip. It looks simple, but balance and trust matter.

Tip: Slightly bent knees save the lower back.

21. Supported Wall Lift

The receiver leans back against a wall while the giver supports their thighs or hips. It takes real strength and balance from the giver, so it’s not for everyone.

Tip: Only try this if the giver is confident carrying the weight. Otherwise, you risk drops and strains. Use a cushion or surface to take some weight.

22. Lean-Back Reverse

A variation of the Reverse Rider: the receiver leans back against the giver’s chest, giving the giver easy access to touch the receiver’s chest and genitals. It adds a lot of stimulation and intimacy.

Tip: Support the receiver’s back with a pillow or the giver’s arms so it’s not tiring.

23. Sex Swing

A swing or sling takes the weight off both bodies and allows many angles with little effort. It needs to be properly installed and rated for the weight it will hold.

Tip: Follow the manufacturer’s setup instructions carefully and test the weight limit before using it for sex.

24. Upright Kneel

Both partners kneel, the giver behind, pulling the receiver upright so their back rests against the giver’s chest. The giver’s hands are free to hold, kiss the neck or stimulate the receiver, and the receiver sets the pace with small movements.

Tip: A soft surface is essential, and a pillow or folded towel under the knees saves them from aching.

If It Hurts: What to Do

Anal sex shouldn’t be painful. Discomfort at the start, like pressure or a stretching sensation, is common and usually eases with relaxation and more lube. Sharp or lasting pain isn’t normal.

If something hurts:

1. Stop and pause. Don’t push through.
2. Add more lube and breathe slowly.
3. Change the position or reduce the depth.
4. Try again another time if it still hurts, instead of forcing it.

See a doctor if you have heavy or continuing bleeding, severe pain, or discomfort that doesn’t settle. Light spotting can happen, but it should be minimal. If you have hemorrhoids or an anal fissure, it’s best to wait until they’ve healed before trying.

Aftercare: The Part People Skip

After sex, clean up gently (a warm shower is fine), pee if you’re prone to urinary infections, and check in with each other. A hug, some water and a few words about what you liked go a long way. It also makes the next time easier to talk about.

10 Myths About Anal Sex, Debunked

Myth 1: It’s Only for a Certain Type of Person

People of every gender, orientation and relationship type enjoy anal play, and plenty of people don’t. Interest isn’t tied to an identity.

Myth 2: It’s Always Painful

It can hurt when it’s rushed, under-lubricated or done while tense. With preparation, patience and the right position, many people find it comfortable and enjoyable.

Myth 3: It’s Unhygienic

Basic hygiene, condoms and cleaning up afterwards make it a manageable risk. A little mess is possible but normal.

Myth 4: It’s Emotionally Detached

Plenty of couples find it intimate precisely because it requires trust and communication.

Myth 5: It’s a New Trend

Anal sex has existed across history and cultures. What has changed is how openly people discuss it.

Myth 6: It Only Feels Good for One Person

Both partners can enjoy it. The receiver may feel pleasure from nerve-rich tissue and nearby structures, and the giver enjoys the closeness and sensation. If one person isn’t enjoying it, that’s a signal to change something or stop.

Myth 7: It Doesn’t Need Safe-Sex Precautions

The reverse is true. STI risk is higher, so condoms and testing matter.

Myth 8: It Means Your Relationship Isn’t “Normal”

There’s no single normal. What matters is that both partners are enthusiastic and respected.

Myth 9: It Must End in Orgasm

It doesn’t. Plenty of people enjoy the experience without orgasm, or reach it by other stimulation at the same time. Treat orgasm as a bonus, not a requirement.

Myth 10: Wanting It Means You’re Unsatisfied or Unfaithful

Curiosity about a new experience isn’t a complaint about the old one. It’s usually just curiosity.

[Read: what is cheating]

FAQ

Is it normal to feel nervous about anal sex?

Yes. Many people feel nervous, and that’s a good reason to start slowly with easier positions and lots of communication.

How long should I warm up?

There’s no fixed time. Continue until the receiver feels relaxed and wants to go further. For many, that’s at least 15 to 20 minutes of relaxed foreplay, but follow your body.

[Read: average time for sex]

Can anal sex feel good for people with a prostate?

Yes, many people with a prostate enjoy stimulation of it, which can be reached through the front wall of the rectum a few inches in. Sensation varies from person to person, so it’s best to explore slowly.

Can you have anal sex in the shower?

It’s tricky. Water washes away water-based lube quickly, which can lead to friction and irritation. A bed or sofa with fresh lube is usually better.

What if I can’t relax?

Try slow breathing, a warm bath beforehand and longer warm-up time. If you’re still tense, it’s fine to stop and try another day.

Can I use toys?

Yes, but choose toys made for anal use with a flared base, so they can’t slip inside. Use water-based lube with silicone toys, and clean or cover them before switching between anal and vaginal use.

The Bottom Line

Good anal sex has little to do with acrobatics. It’s about trust, patience, lube and a position that lets the receiver stay in control. Start in the easy stage, communicate openly, and move on only when it feels good. Ignore the performance pressure, and be ready to laugh when things go slightly wrong.